It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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