I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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