You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
