No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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