Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
