if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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