It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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