Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
