If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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