a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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