I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
