dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
