You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize