Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
