yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
