I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
