How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
