I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
