I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
