My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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