yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
