he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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