i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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