He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
