Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do herpes really smell.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
