please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
