I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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