just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
