New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
