she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
