i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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