I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
