It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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