So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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