Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
