Soap is not a condiment
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
