why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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