I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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