I wish you could order shots online.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
