im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
