i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize