It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
