there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
