Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
