Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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