dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
