omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize