She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize