Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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