im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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