Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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