that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
