Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
