Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You were trust falling into bushes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
