So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
where am i from again
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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