Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
