I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
