I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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