I wanna passion pit in your ass
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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