You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
