He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my sisters under your porch take her home
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
