This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
