She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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