I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
