If i come over, it means nothing
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
