I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
