Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
